Footprints in Carbon

So what is a carbon footprint? Ever since the Dems in the US Congress decided to take over the world, starting with something called Cap and Trade, not to be confused by Cap and Gown, folks are trying to make money on reducing their carbon footprint. I did not know my footprint had carbon in it. And, trust me, with two teenagers and two dogs at home, we have plenty of footprints around here. And, after being pregnant twice, I can tell you there is no reducing my foot, no matter how many times I tried to squeeze my enlarged foot into my former size 7's.

So, I looked up carbon footprint on Wikipedia, or where guys without dates write fake definitions online, and got this:

" A carbon footprint is "the total set of GHG (greenhouse gas) emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organization, event or product"

Like I know what that means. So, how can I reduce something if I am not sure what it is? So, I asked my teenager who, of course, knows everything, and was told that it is how green I am. So, I guess I am in good shape as I have green shoes, a green purse and even a green coat!

Has my IQ dropped since becoming the mother to 2 teenage girls?

As the mother of two teenage daughters, apparently my IQ has dropped at least 20 points, according to my daughters. Yesterday, it was a record 105 degrees or so, and my youngest announces that she wants to go on a walk and to the local park for a few hours in the heat of the day. Of course, prior to this announcement, she has spent much of the summer on the couch watching reruns of "America's Next Top Model," which is really intellectually challenging (for a two year old), or posting pictures she has taken of herself on her My Space page. So, the sudden desire to spend time outside is quite the change. But, when I ask what is really up, she seems surprised at my question. "What do you mean, Mom? I just want to spend some time outside." Yeah, right, and Mark Sanford just wanted to hike the Appalachian trail. Turns out that she was meeting a boy at the park....sound familiar? Too bad that she does not read the news or she would have known that that story would not fly. Just ask Gov. Sanford.

I'm Hot and I Mean It.

So, the heat is starting to get to me. It is been so hot lately that people have literally died. I have always been one of those people that sleeps with the covers on every night, even in the midst of a Texas summer, but not this year. I went out the other night and bought three oscillating fans and I did not even know what "oscillating" meant until this week! I am now a big fan of oscillation. My girls keep telling everyone that I am having hot flashes...which may be true, but at least I was not forced to be one of the 20,000 folks packed into the Staples Center in LA yesterday....It looked like they could use some oscillating fans. And what about Obama...I bet he is pretty hot these days. FOX News is reporting that Michelle may be more popular in Russia than he is as she is easier for them to relate to.....Is this a good thing? Maybe he should see if the Secret Service can pick up a few fans for him while the motorcade is stopped at a traffic light.

Launching Missiles

My neighbor uses the birthday of our great country to launch his version of WWIII every year. He and his numerous children go to the local fireworks stand and buy anything large, expensive and capable of scaring dogs (and some people) into running around the house panting. These are the missile type firecrackers that are outlawed in most civilized communities, but not here in the Wild, Wild West. After it is all over, he just leaves the debris in the cul-de-sac for someone else to clean up. It reminds me of the announcement Sarah Palin made yesterday. She launched the missile of stepping down from her post as Alaska's gov. with her numerous children standing by, and then just left the debris for others. Maybe she and my neighbor can meet at the local fireworks stand next year, as it appears she will have some time on her hands!

AARP, really?

So, yesterday, I am going through the mail at the office and lo, and behold, I have been invited to join the AARP. Frankly, I was pretty devastated to realize that I am old enough to be in the largest association for senior citizens in the country. I mean, it seems like yesterday that I was in college, but my teenage daughters often remind me, it was not. I guess because they like to torture me, one of my daughters told me recently that she had taken an informal poll of all her friends, and the conclusion is that I AM THE OLDEST OF ALL THE MOMS.
Even though their dad is older than I am, he is not the oldest because one of her friends' moms was a "mail order bride," so the dad is in his seventies and the mom is in her early thirties. When I asked why this was even a topic of consideration, she smilingly said that it is because I look older than all the others in a tone that implied this was a good thing. Anyway, I always like to look on the bright side of things, so the positive to all of this is that apparently President Obama and the Democrats are now going to pay for all my health care costs!

What's So Special about a Special Session?

So, soon the lege will descend upon us again, making Sullivan's and the other upscale downtown eateries full of lobbyists and such, making it impossible to get a table, as if anyone else could afford their prices. But, all reports are that the suits are aiming to be in and out of here in 3 days or less. They all have politicking to do back home for the 4th, so they want to get 'er done. Considering the fact that they had 140 days to get this same stuff done recently and some of the Dems decided having a gabfest that lasted four days, it seems hard to believe that they could get anything done in 3 days. Of course, our famously wealthy and until this past weekend, famously single, Lite Gov. Dewhurst has a honeymoon to get back to...he finally has a wife to put in those Christmas photos with four stepkids as a bonus....Last year he sent out a black and white photo of the Capitol featuring trees without leaves on a gray day...it definitely was not Christmas cheer unless you are a Scrooge who has read too much Edgar Allan Poe. And the year before he had every member of the Dewhurst family, including his third cousins twice removed, in a photo. But, no wifey. Now, he finally has a wife again, and the gov ruined his honeymoon by calling a special. So, he is motivated to finish this session.....he is probably afraid that another Poe Christmas card will ruin his chances of ever moving up to....Husband of the Year.

Don't Be A Crybaby!

I guess SC Gov. Mark Sanford's dad never told him not to be a crybaby. I mean, really, this guy is an embarassment to the GOP for being a real schmuck. First of all, he leaves town for five days while being the top governmental official in charge of a state of 4.5 million folks and thinks none of the 4.5 will notice he is gone. Most politicos want to be noticed, but apparently, this guy thought he could turn that off and on. And, he was known for using photos of his wife and four sons in all his campaign ads. Well, no, it did not turn out that folks did not notice his absence. Big surprise, some of the folks he had beat or not supported politically went to the media when he left the country for four days without explanation. Duh!! Then, he has to admit that he was having an affair, and not even with a local gal...he had to go all the way to Argentina to cheat on his wife. Again, did he really think the 4.5 million South Caroliners are not going to notice if he leaves the capitol of Columbia and travels to say, another country on another continent for five days, but thinks, no one will figure it out. He also writes the chick emails. Now, how dumb is that? He has to know that any computer geek with a seventh grade education can hack into emails these days. Did he not hear about what happened to the DA from Houston, who also wrote unfortunate emails? So, he leaves for five days, and when he comes back, he has a news conference and, give him this much, admits up to it. But then, he cries. Come on, please. He was most likely crying because he got caught and because his wife, for once, did not pull a Hillary and stand beside him. She told him to take a flying leap, and you cannot blame her. My message to the guv: Stop crying. Please, you are a grown man. Stop writing emails unless they are "really" official business. And, stop taking trips to Buenos Aires. Not necessarily in that order.