Parade Time

Everyone loves a parade! I was in a parade this weekend in Georgetown. When you are in a parade, you always have to be there really early to WAIT, WAIT and WAIT. It is the same theory as when you go in for surgery---they want to be sure you don't chicken out, so they make you get there way early, as if you were an my grandma going to dinner at Luby's. So, I got there a good hour before the parade began. Then, when it starts, it goes quickly, unless you are the unlucky folks right behind the retired dancing folks who "dance" with lawn chairs very slowly as the same two minute song plays over and over about two thousand times, which isn't the least bit annoying! We were ahead of them this year, so we got to move a little more quickly. The other part of a parade that folks never discuss is giving out the goodies. In Georgetown, they insist you have folks walk along the route and give out the candy---no throwing! This is very unpopular and some folks ignore it. I remember one year when my daughter was younger, she was not really into throwing the candy since she preferred to eat it, so she would eat three pieces and then throw one. The one she threw had an unfortunate consequence since she forgot to aim low. She hit some kid square in the eye, which is really not something the parade organizers covet. They came over to our float and told me sternly, "No throwing or you will have to leave!" Luckily, we did not get bounced out of the parade, but I had to have her just eat the rest of the candy...which was not really a big deal as candy and French fries are two of the major food groups to her!

Our itty, bitty, teeny weeny little dog

We got an itty, bitty little dog a couple of years ago at the Williamson Co. Regional Animal Shelter. For those of you who are new, or just living under a rock, there was a tad bit of controversy when the shelter first opened. In the midst of it, my daughters and I went out to the shelter and my youngest had a very brief fancy for our small dog. He was going to be her dog and she was going to take total care of him, which translates to she will take care of him for a few days and then he will be my responsibility for the rest of his life, or mine. He was on death row, in a cage, shaking and since he had been there 8 days, he was 5 days past his time. So, my daughter begged me to take him home. He is a cute little black and white dog, but I was reluctant, having gone through the "He will not be any trouble" routine before. But, I finally agreed to it, out of sheer pity. I called my husband who was playing golf as usual, which means he agrees to almost anything as long as I make the request quickly, if I can get him to answer the phone. Anyway, we were told that the dog was house trained-but, of course, not so much! In fact, he is the total opposite of house trained. Also, no one mentioned that his breed is known for digging out of any enclosure, making it impossible to keep him in the yard. We tried that, and we would come home to find him running down the middle of the road. The disloyalty!!! I take care of the little four legged creature, I feed him, and I even let him sleep in the bed because if I don't he yelps loudly for hours and what do I get??? Him running down the street seemingly oblivious to the fact that he is not where he is supposed to be. The cars are, compared to him, the size of the debt Obama has created in the last 3 months. He is like the current spending on government programs---way, way out of control and full of it. And, like the spending, it has been very hard for me to stop him. So, of course, my husband decides that we should try to find another home for the dog. He brings over a prospective owner and they are all completely taken aback, as I am, by my response. I started crying and telling about Pepper, a dog I had when I was five, who was killed in front of me by a pack of other dogs. It hit me from nowhere that this dog and Pepper looked alike and I was so upset, '"Don't take my dog again," I yelled at everyone. That put the pall on the whole adoption. So, we still have itty bitty. He is usually laying right beside me as I type. He may be small, disloyal, poorly trained and basically a big pain, but he is a companion, that is until he runs away again!

She Lost that Loving Feeling in Round Rock

Tom Cruise used to be my "top gun." I loved him in that movie. When he rides the motorcycle to her house under the palm trees, Kelly McGinnis, who looks like she is his older sister, falls for him in about three seconds. It is all about his angst over his father's death, which drives his mom to drink and him to risky behavior. Then, Dr. Green from ER, still with his hair, dies and Meg Ryan, who somehow married Dr. Green even though I never saw her on ER, just can't take it so she tries to sleep with Tom Cruise... but he turns her down...that's compassion, even if it is unlikely. Anyway, I loved that movie, but tonight I am watching it with my daughter and I started to think about why I no longer like Tom Cruise. It comes down to this, he dumped Nicole Kidman for a much younger model who is young enough to be his daughter, if he had a kid at 16, which is not impossible...just ask the folks at the Yearning for Zion ranch in El Dorado, Texas. As you can see from an earlier post, I am a woman of a certain age, and that dumping for a younger woman cuts deep! And Nicole had to go off and marry a coke head, then have a baby and give the baby a weird Hollywood name. Sunday Rose sounds like what old ladies serve at teatime, as in "Let me have some of that Sunday Rose tea, dear." So, Tom Cruise, you ain't no Top Gun anymore!

COBRA is Not Just a Snake in the Grass Anymore

What is COBRA? Unfortunately, it is nothing as exciting as a big, scary snake. At least that gets your heart racing. Instead it is a law handed down from the feds that allows former employees to have health insurance after they are fired, quit or just wig out completely. I was about to wig out completely today when I had to spend all day listening to attorneys say things like, "Make sure your employee handbook says "only 30 days" not "at least 30 days." And don't you just hate when the presenter says to hold the questions to the end as she has a lot to say and may not ever give anyone else a chance! After several hours, I had exhausted all my options for caffeinated beverages...I had tried coffee, diet DP, coffee, iced tea, coffee and coffee. The only plus is that all that liquid led to me really having to leave to take a break...I mean really! When I got back from the ladies room, Tiffani, the attorney, who looked young enough to be my daughter and could be called Ms. Smarty Pants except her first name ended in a "i" a "y" which always makes me not take someone all that seriously, said something to the effect of how it was important to make the disclosure form "at least six or seven pages in length to be sure it is understandable to the employees. She has seen some employers use a ONE PARAGRAPH synopsis, which is apparently a cardinal sin in itself, and that just would not do to have an explanation of this COBRA thingy that folks may actually read. Tiffani told us it is much better for it to be looooong so that everyone will need coffee to read it. At that point, I headed to Starbucks!

Texas TEA Party

Today is Tax Day and many conservatives attended TEA (Taxed Enough Already) party rallies across America. I attended two of them. Lots of folks in costumes and funny hats wearing tea bags. One guy standing near me had a all-heckle policy. He heckled every speaker, usually with the cry of "Secede!" such as in after a speaker said we should spend less, after a speaker said we should be taxed less and even after a speaker said where to find the restrooms. Many folks had funny signs. The photo of Nancy Pelosi wearing a pirate hat with the caption "There are pirates in America, too." But the one that was hilarious said, "I can STIMULATE myself, thank you very much!" And some folks say conservatives are not funny!

Hold the Milk in my Hot Dog

Well, my birthday is almost over and what a fun day it has been. Tonight, my daughters and I ate out, which really means picked up food at the drive thru. On a whim, I decided to go to a KFC/A & W All American Cafe combo drive thru. Typically, I avoid restaurants (read: drive thrus) with more than one cuisine (using the word loosely) at the same place. Something about combining a Long John Silver's with a Der Wienerschnitzel just does not usually get the taste buds going. But, tonight, in honor of my birthday, we tried out A & W/KFC. I am not really a KFC fan ever since one Halloween when I was about 5 when my family I were traveling over the "holiday "and I did not have a costume, so my mom, always thrifty, got me a Col. Sanders mask with a large bucket of drumsticks. The other kids got quite a kick, literally, out of the mask. Anyway, all was going well tonight, including the regular routine: one teen refusing to eat because the other agreed with me that it would be fun to try a place we don't go to often. So, me and the younger one, who believes French fries are a major food group, making either KFC or A & W a good choice, and I ordered, drove around, and there it was...THE LIBERAL TRIAL LAWYERS STRUCK AGAIN....at the local A & W. A small sign was posted in the window that said, "Customer Alert: This restaurant chain serves hot dogs that MAY contain milk in them." Much to my daughters' dismay, I asked the very young girls working the window about the milk issue. The girl in the cute A & W paper hat leaned out of the window, read the sign and said, "Yeah, isn't that weird?" which is not really reassuring coming from someone serving your food. Then she added, "It isn't like we pour milk on the hot dogs." Great, 'cuz that was my first guess. Doesn't everyone pour milk on their hot dog before eating it? What strange lawsuit led to a corporate lawyer writing that little gem and sending it to all the A & W's throughout the US? His mom is proud of him! He saved us all from mistakenly eating a milk hot dog.

Welcome to my new blog, Pink Elephant. I am a conservative woman living in Round Rock, Texas and want to use this blog to post entries about me, my busy life, my big family and my passion for all things political. I am excited about this blog and I hope you will be, too.

Birthday Woman (My "Girl" Days are Sadly Over)
Today is my last day before I become the dreaded age of 49. I have hated every time my age ended in a "9." For the first two ages ending in "9," I wanted to just get the year done so I could move onto the next decade. Then, once you get to 29, then 39 and now the "I can't believe I'm so old and fat" 49, I just want to be 28, 38 or 48 again because no one believes you that you are really 29, 39 or much less 49. When someone is so rude as to ask your age, and you say 49, you know they think you are lying. Luckily, by the time you are a woman at 49, usually the only folks with guts enough to ask your age are in the medical profession and generally are about to perform an unpleasant "procedure," which at that point I am afraid to lie as they may know I am lying and make it even worse, as if there is worse than a "This may be a bit uncomfortable" mammogram exam. My friends and family all know how old I am and have the good sense not to mention it. To make matters worse, I have thought for a while that I have accomplished a fair amount of things politically in my (almost) 49 years. Then, Mr. Smarty Pants Obama, age 47, had to outdo all of Baby Boomers by getting to be...well....the Leader of the Free World. Ok, that is a bit higher than me on the totem pole and the first time in my life that I am OLDER THAN THE PRESIDENT! That alone was reason enough for me not to vote for the man!
So, I know you are thinking, what about your birthday tomorrow? Big plans?
Sure, I plan to try to make sure my teenage daughters don't kill each other over the one wearing the "favorite purple bra" of the other one (with cries of "Make her take it off" as I am driving down a state highway), stay focused all day at work, try not to eat dessert but then eat it anyway, figure out what to serve up for the hubby and finicky teens for dinner then decide to just get take-out, clean up after the dog that we got from the shelter that was already house-trained-yeah, right- and more of the same. Oh, yeah...the same stuff I do daily. Maybe I'll really have a big evening and decide to watch "Intervention" on A & E while drinking a glass of wine. I love watching folks more screwed up than me!