Footprints in Carbon

So what is a carbon footprint? Ever since the Dems in the US Congress decided to take over the world, starting with something called Cap and Trade, not to be confused by Cap and Gown, folks are trying to make money on reducing their carbon footprint. I did not know my footprint had carbon in it. And, trust me, with two teenagers and two dogs at home, we have plenty of footprints around here. And, after being pregnant twice, I can tell you there is no reducing my foot, no matter how many times I tried to squeeze my enlarged foot into my former size 7's.

So, I looked up carbon footprint on Wikipedia, or where guys without dates write fake definitions online, and got this:

" A carbon footprint is "the total set of GHG (greenhouse gas) emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organization, event or product"

Like I know what that means. So, how can I reduce something if I am not sure what it is? So, I asked my teenager who, of course, knows everything, and was told that it is how green I am. So, I guess I am in good shape as I have green shoes, a green purse and even a green coat!

Has my IQ dropped since becoming the mother to 2 teenage girls?

As the mother of two teenage daughters, apparently my IQ has dropped at least 20 points, according to my daughters. Yesterday, it was a record 105 degrees or so, and my youngest announces that she wants to go on a walk and to the local park for a few hours in the heat of the day. Of course, prior to this announcement, she has spent much of the summer on the couch watching reruns of "America's Next Top Model," which is really intellectually challenging (for a two year old), or posting pictures she has taken of herself on her My Space page. So, the sudden desire to spend time outside is quite the change. But, when I ask what is really up, she seems surprised at my question. "What do you mean, Mom? I just want to spend some time outside." Yeah, right, and Mark Sanford just wanted to hike the Appalachian trail. Turns out that she was meeting a boy at the park....sound familiar? Too bad that she does not read the news or she would have known that that story would not fly. Just ask Gov. Sanford.

I'm Hot and I Mean It.

So, the heat is starting to get to me. It is been so hot lately that people have literally died. I have always been one of those people that sleeps with the covers on every night, even in the midst of a Texas summer, but not this year. I went out the other night and bought three oscillating fans and I did not even know what "oscillating" meant until this week! I am now a big fan of oscillation. My girls keep telling everyone that I am having hot flashes...which may be true, but at least I was not forced to be one of the 20,000 folks packed into the Staples Center in LA yesterday....It looked like they could use some oscillating fans. And what about Obama...I bet he is pretty hot these days. FOX News is reporting that Michelle may be more popular in Russia than he is as she is easier for them to relate to.....Is this a good thing? Maybe he should see if the Secret Service can pick up a few fans for him while the motorcade is stopped at a traffic light.

Launching Missiles

My neighbor uses the birthday of our great country to launch his version of WWIII every year. He and his numerous children go to the local fireworks stand and buy anything large, expensive and capable of scaring dogs (and some people) into running around the house panting. These are the missile type firecrackers that are outlawed in most civilized communities, but not here in the Wild, Wild West. After it is all over, he just leaves the debris in the cul-de-sac for someone else to clean up. It reminds me of the announcement Sarah Palin made yesterday. She launched the missile of stepping down from her post as Alaska's gov. with her numerous children standing by, and then just left the debris for others. Maybe she and my neighbor can meet at the local fireworks stand next year, as it appears she will have some time on her hands!

AARP, really?

So, yesterday, I am going through the mail at the office and lo, and behold, I have been invited to join the AARP. Frankly, I was pretty devastated to realize that I am old enough to be in the largest association for senior citizens in the country. I mean, it seems like yesterday that I was in college, but my teenage daughters often remind me, it was not. I guess because they like to torture me, one of my daughters told me recently that she had taken an informal poll of all her friends, and the conclusion is that I AM THE OLDEST OF ALL THE MOMS.
Even though their dad is older than I am, he is not the oldest because one of her friends' moms was a "mail order bride," so the dad is in his seventies and the mom is in her early thirties. When I asked why this was even a topic of consideration, she smilingly said that it is because I look older than all the others in a tone that implied this was a good thing. Anyway, I always like to look on the bright side of things, so the positive to all of this is that apparently President Obama and the Democrats are now going to pay for all my health care costs!