Footprints in Carbon

So what is a carbon footprint? Ever since the Dems in the US Congress decided to take over the world, starting with something called Cap and Trade, not to be confused by Cap and Gown, folks are trying to make money on reducing their carbon footprint. I did not know my footprint had carbon in it. And, trust me, with two teenagers and two dogs at home, we have plenty of footprints around here. And, after being pregnant twice, I can tell you there is no reducing my foot, no matter how many times I tried to squeeze my enlarged foot into my former size 7's.

So, I looked up carbon footprint on Wikipedia, or where guys without dates write fake definitions online, and got this:

" A carbon footprint is "the total set of GHG (greenhouse gas) emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organization, event or product"

Like I know what that means. So, how can I reduce something if I am not sure what it is? So, I asked my teenager who, of course, knows everything, and was told that it is how green I am. So, I guess I am in good shape as I have green shoes, a green purse and even a green coat!

Has my IQ dropped since becoming the mother to 2 teenage girls?

As the mother of two teenage daughters, apparently my IQ has dropped at least 20 points, according to my daughters. Yesterday, it was a record 105 degrees or so, and my youngest announces that she wants to go on a walk and to the local park for a few hours in the heat of the day. Of course, prior to this announcement, she has spent much of the summer on the couch watching reruns of "America's Next Top Model," which is really intellectually challenging (for a two year old), or posting pictures she has taken of herself on her My Space page. So, the sudden desire to spend time outside is quite the change. But, when I ask what is really up, she seems surprised at my question. "What do you mean, Mom? I just want to spend some time outside." Yeah, right, and Mark Sanford just wanted to hike the Appalachian trail. Turns out that she was meeting a boy at the park....sound familiar? Too bad that she does not read the news or she would have known that that story would not fly. Just ask Gov. Sanford.

I'm Hot and I Mean It.

So, the heat is starting to get to me. It is been so hot lately that people have literally died. I have always been one of those people that sleeps with the covers on every night, even in the midst of a Texas summer, but not this year. I went out the other night and bought three oscillating fans and I did not even know what "oscillating" meant until this week! I am now a big fan of oscillation. My girls keep telling everyone that I am having hot flashes...which may be true, but at least I was not forced to be one of the 20,000 folks packed into the Staples Center in LA yesterday....It looked like they could use some oscillating fans. And what about Obama...I bet he is pretty hot these days. FOX News is reporting that Michelle may be more popular in Russia than he is as she is easier for them to relate to.....Is this a good thing? Maybe he should see if the Secret Service can pick up a few fans for him while the motorcade is stopped at a traffic light.

Launching Missiles

My neighbor uses the birthday of our great country to launch his version of WWIII every year. He and his numerous children go to the local fireworks stand and buy anything large, expensive and capable of scaring dogs (and some people) into running around the house panting. These are the missile type firecrackers that are outlawed in most civilized communities, but not here in the Wild, Wild West. After it is all over, he just leaves the debris in the cul-de-sac for someone else to clean up. It reminds me of the announcement Sarah Palin made yesterday. She launched the missile of stepping down from her post as Alaska's gov. with her numerous children standing by, and then just left the debris for others. Maybe she and my neighbor can meet at the local fireworks stand next year, as it appears she will have some time on her hands!

AARP, really?

So, yesterday, I am going through the mail at the office and lo, and behold, I have been invited to join the AARP. Frankly, I was pretty devastated to realize that I am old enough to be in the largest association for senior citizens in the country. I mean, it seems like yesterday that I was in college, but my teenage daughters often remind me, it was not. I guess because they like to torture me, one of my daughters told me recently that she had taken an informal poll of all her friends, and the conclusion is that I AM THE OLDEST OF ALL THE MOMS.
Even though their dad is older than I am, he is not the oldest because one of her friends' moms was a "mail order bride," so the dad is in his seventies and the mom is in her early thirties. When I asked why this was even a topic of consideration, she smilingly said that it is because I look older than all the others in a tone that implied this was a good thing. Anyway, I always like to look on the bright side of things, so the positive to all of this is that apparently President Obama and the Democrats are now going to pay for all my health care costs!

What's So Special about a Special Session?

So, soon the lege will descend upon us again, making Sullivan's and the other upscale downtown eateries full of lobbyists and such, making it impossible to get a table, as if anyone else could afford their prices. But, all reports are that the suits are aiming to be in and out of here in 3 days or less. They all have politicking to do back home for the 4th, so they want to get 'er done. Considering the fact that they had 140 days to get this same stuff done recently and some of the Dems decided having a gabfest that lasted four days, it seems hard to believe that they could get anything done in 3 days. Of course, our famously wealthy and until this past weekend, famously single, Lite Gov. Dewhurst has a honeymoon to get back to...he finally has a wife to put in those Christmas photos with four stepkids as a bonus....Last year he sent out a black and white photo of the Capitol featuring trees without leaves on a gray day...it definitely was not Christmas cheer unless you are a Scrooge who has read too much Edgar Allan Poe. And the year before he had every member of the Dewhurst family, including his third cousins twice removed, in a photo. But, no wifey. Now, he finally has a wife again, and the gov ruined his honeymoon by calling a special. So, he is motivated to finish this session.....he is probably afraid that another Poe Christmas card will ruin his chances of ever moving up to....Husband of the Year.

Don't Be A Crybaby!

I guess SC Gov. Mark Sanford's dad never told him not to be a crybaby. I mean, really, this guy is an embarassment to the GOP for being a real schmuck. First of all, he leaves town for five days while being the top governmental official in charge of a state of 4.5 million folks and thinks none of the 4.5 will notice he is gone. Most politicos want to be noticed, but apparently, this guy thought he could turn that off and on. And, he was known for using photos of his wife and four sons in all his campaign ads. Well, no, it did not turn out that folks did not notice his absence. Big surprise, some of the folks he had beat or not supported politically went to the media when he left the country for four days without explanation. Duh!! Then, he has to admit that he was having an affair, and not even with a local gal...he had to go all the way to Argentina to cheat on his wife. Again, did he really think the 4.5 million South Caroliners are not going to notice if he leaves the capitol of Columbia and travels to say, another country on another continent for five days, but thinks, no one will figure it out. He also writes the chick emails. Now, how dumb is that? He has to know that any computer geek with a seventh grade education can hack into emails these days. Did he not hear about what happened to the DA from Houston, who also wrote unfortunate emails? So, he leaves for five days, and when he comes back, he has a news conference and, give him this much, admits up to it. But then, he cries. Come on, please. He was most likely crying because he got caught and because his wife, for once, did not pull a Hillary and stand beside him. She told him to take a flying leap, and you cannot blame her. My message to the guv: Stop crying. Please, you are a grown man. Stop writing emails unless they are "really" official business. And, stop taking trips to Buenos Aires. Not necessarily in that order.

After I had given birth twice, my husband and I decided that was enough. Okay, so it was mainly me, but....I did not order him to have a vasectomy like that bossy chick, Kate Gosselin, from the Jon and Kate Plus 8 tv show, orders around that guy. My husband decided to go see a doctor that a friend had used, and I am not kidding you the guy's name was Dr. Richard Chopp. Of course, he goes by the name of Dick Chopp. I kid you not. Go to his website for proof: http://www.urologyteam.com/our-doctors/dr-richard-chopp.htm. I, of course, thought it was funny that someone who does vasectomies would be called Dick Chopp. So, right before the surgery, in the pre-op visit, I say something like, "What a coincidence, about your name and all." And, he says, in a very angry voice, "What do you mean?" So, basically, he tries to act like I am the first one to bring it up and that he has no idea what I am talking about...I mean, really?? This whole incident reminds me of what the Democrats in the Texas Legislature are trying to do right now. They spend the last week of the regular legislative session delaying action on bills on the House floor. They told reporters that they were going to do this on purpose to block passage of the voter ID bill. Rumor has it that our very own representative, Diana Maldonado, participated in this. Now, they are saying the reason nothing happened, and important bills for them such as the expansion of CHIP or children's health insurance program, is because of lack of leadership from the GOP. Just like I said to Dr. Chopp, "Really???" Sometimes things are so obvious, it is hard to believe they would really think we would not notice it. And, I have to say, my husband is still mad that I brought this up to Dr. Chopp....he said I should not have joked around about the man's name right before he did surgery on him. I guess he is right, but, like the Democrats' antics at the end of the session, some things are just too obvious to not remark upon them.

Chumming, Toilets and Apples

So, the democrats in the Texas Legislature decided a week or so ago to talk about inconsequential stuff, called "chumming," so they could kill a bill requiring voters to show a photo ID. I was reading an account of this in the local paper today and, as usual, I found it hard to believe. They claim that the female democrats were against this tactic. So, they are trying to tell us that the men were the ones who wanted to stand around and make small talk for days on end? Yeah, right, that is what guys love to do! My husband, bless him, would rather be shot in the head than sit through four days of talk about nothing. And, when I tend to talk too much, he always says he is listening, but if I have tested this by asking him totally unrelated questions in the middle of a long story, such as ..."Can I sell your brand, new, fully loaded SUV and trade it in for one of the those cute, little electric cars?...He answers, "Whatever you want, honey." Of course, if I did that, he would most likely start paying closer attention to what I say, so that he could use it against me in court, in front of a judge, when he divorced me! Anyway, this "chumming" thing was one of the dumbest things I ever saw. All of these folks standing around, talking about how many people should be appointed to the El Paso Board of Hat Size Regulators. To heck with the other stuff, like reorganization of the biggest state agency, the Texas Department of Transportation, which is something almost every elected official in Texas needs to be done or, say, insurance for wind damage, which is a big deal to, well, anyone who has wind damage lately. Remember Hurricane Ike? So, the Hat Size Regulators, let's talk about that instead. That is an issue we are all concerned about. And, now, the democrats are realizing that some of the important stuff may not pass and they may be held accountable. So, fingers are being pointed everywhere. This reminds me of my teenage daughters. Whenever one of them does something and it goes wrong, the fingers start to point. For example, we recently had an incident where the toilet in their bathroom was stopped up. Of course, neither of them admitted that they had done anything to stop it up. When the plumber came over and found the apple in the toilet pipe, each one blamed each other. The story started tumbling out: One was in the tub eating an apple, when the other said something that made the made the apple eater mad. The apple was then thrown and ended up in the toilet right as it was being flushed. Of course, we had to pay the plumber $115 to clean up the whole mess. This chumming fiasco at the Texas House reminds me of that apple/toilet incident. The people of Texas are ending up with a big pile of crap and it is going to cost a lot to clean it up. So, maybe my girls have a future in politics!

How Hard Could This Be?

After the 335th time my husband and I heard someone yell, "Give me back my mascara," we decided to move my older daughter into the spare bedroom as it has its own bathroom. So, we moved her last weekend and when we moved the large massive, ugly bed that formerly belonged to my husband's mother (doesn't everyone love hand-me-downs), we discovered that the one eyed, one armed pirate-like guy who painted our house a few years ago (I am not kidding you), well...he decided to not move the monster bed. He just painted around the headboard. And he got away with it, cause we paid him without knowing this. So, of course, we had to paint the wall now, unless she wanted to have a weird two colored wall. My husband had already hung the curtains first thing in the morning . Of course, when he hung the curtains, I mean he got out this laser thing that makes a line on the wall, and about 14 other tools and took two hours to do so. I am talking one window here. Then, as always, he went to play golf. So, I decided my daughter and I could to paint the wall ourselves, with the theory that if a one armed, one eyed guy could do it, how hard could it be? So, my daughter and I went down to the local Sherwin Williams. I knew we were in trouble even as we walked in the store when the guy behind the counter looked at the gal behind the counter and I could tell he had lost the coin toss and had to wait on us. That stuff they say about being friendly and willing to help, well...not so much. He acted like I was the stupidest person on earth when I asked him questions, like, "What is the difference in these two rollers?" He actually said, "Two dollars." I wanted to ask him if he had smelled too much paint, but I was afraid he might charge me even more. So, my daughter picked a color and I paid Mr. Friendly a ton of money and then went home. I am the exact opposite of my husband on home improvement projects. I like to just go with the flow, not spend a lot of time with preparation. So, we start to paint. It is going well until we get to the "trim." This is really not a "go with the flow" type part of the project, but I did. Staying in the lines would have been helpful, but that did not work out, really. And to top of the whole experience, my younger daughter, who is much like the opposition party in Congress, nipping at the heels from the sidelines without really able to accomplish much, she came in, looked at the wall, and declared the color to be the same as Baby Poop, and she had a point. So, of course, I had to pull an Obama, and make the best of it, ignoring the paint outside the lines, ignoring the color and say, "It looks great." What did I learn from this experiment? Always let my husband do the home improvement projects!

Friends

Do some folks spend their entire day on Facebook? I joined it kind of on a lark, and I (inadvertedly) set is so I get an alert on my Blackberry whenever someone posts something on my page. I had no idea that this would be like, every 2 seconds. For those of you without a Facebook page, if there are any of you, there is a question, "What are you doing now?" One chick that is my "friend" on Facebook, writes stuff like, "I am washing dishes...Should I handwash the china or put it in the dishwasher....oh,no, what should I do?" Then, like ten seconds later some other "friend" writes her back, saying, "I always handwash my china separately and I highly recommend it." And, I am supposed to be interested in this? Really, the whole "friend" thing is strange. Folks I do not know want to be my "friend." They send me photos that I would have erased as soon as I sobered up, like of the "friend" passed out with empty beer bottles all around. And, then they use the photo when asking to be my "friend." Whatever happened to actually meeting folks face to face? Is that just too easy these days?

This is Sculpture?

I have always like to look at art. So, last weekend, I was on a brief trip and had a few hours with nothing to do. So, I had to drag the hubby with me, literally, to an art museum in a large mid-western city. First thing we see, is the biggest shuttlecock, or badminton birdie, in the world. (Here is a photo of me next to It. I am the one in pink, of course.) It was just sitting there in the middle of this huge field. And, then yards and yards away, was another one. Then, another. Three Its in a field. And, they call all the Its plus a few other weird things a "sculpture" garden. The others include a platoon of decapitated people standing at attention-I am not making this up. At that point, I should have had the good sense to leave without going inside, but then I would have had to admit to my husband that staying in the hotel bar would have been more fun, which was of course, his idea. So, we ventured in. Right there, in the middle of this really weirdly shaped building, was an abnormally big solid black canvas. I mean really black with some not quite as black squares. That was all. No lines, no squiggles and you can forget any people. The "artist" Mark Rothko, read "con man," sold it as "in emptiness, forms are born." Well, at least he was honest about the emptiness part. And, to add insult to injury, the "painting" was roped off so you could not get that close to it. The reason that bothered me is that later we, thank God, finally found the real art, in the other building. They actually had a Monet of water lilies, which, for some reason that only a strange Mid-Western could understand, was NOT roped off at all. So, let's think who the Risk Manager is for this joint that decided the risk of someone messing with the ugly all black canvas is more of an issue than the actual priceless painting by a well known dead artist that folks whose paintings are actually, well, of something. And, to just heap it on, there were little signs around this place that said they want to thank the National Endowment for the Arts for their support. So, in other words, on top of the $200,000 for tattoo removal of gang members in the recent federal budget supported by President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and the other liberals in DC, we have to pa some con man to paint a canvas solid black with our tax dollars. Right now or anytime, I make a standing offer to paint a canvas any solid color for half of what the Rothko guy got paid. If I get to pick, I will make it all pink!

Don't Cast Pearls Before Swine

It seems all we can talk about these days is swine flu. Anything whose first name is "swine" definitely has a PR problem. For the last few days, some folks have been obsessed with the swine flu and forget about buying one of those little surgical masks. Did you ever see the "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy and Ethel are at the department store sale and they had to elbow the other women out of the way to buy a dress? It is the same situation at the local Walgreen's if you are trying to buy a mask or any flu medicine. And, who wants to wear a mask anyway? If you have the flu, you should be home. And if you are out and about wearing a mask, everyone assumes you are Typhoid Mary and clears a 20 foot radius when you walk by. I saw an acquaintance at the grocery store wearing one and the yahoo came over and wanted to shake my hand. I had to do the "I did not see the hand go out" routine, which is always awkward, to avoid touching his hand.
And now, the "swine" folks are all upset that pigs are getting a bad name because of the flu and want to change the name. Political correctness strikes again and please, the word swine has had a problem for a long time. Look it up...swine means an obnoxious person, like the guy in the mask trying to shake hands at the HEB.
And at least our VP Joe has provided some comic relief on the whole situation. After he opened his mouth and inserted both feet on the "Today" show this week when he said, basically, we should shut down public transit, the White House got to spend two days saying idiotic things like, "What the Vice President meant to say was..." It sounded like me trying to explain what my teenager said. Well, at least we are getting some good jokes out of the Obama administration these days, along with the "Its So Big I'm Not Sure What Number to Use"Debt.

Parade Time

Everyone loves a parade! I was in a parade this weekend in Georgetown. When you are in a parade, you always have to be there really early to WAIT, WAIT and WAIT. It is the same theory as when you go in for surgery---they want to be sure you don't chicken out, so they make you get there way early, as if you were an my grandma going to dinner at Luby's. So, I got there a good hour before the parade began. Then, when it starts, it goes quickly, unless you are the unlucky folks right behind the retired dancing folks who "dance" with lawn chairs very slowly as the same two minute song plays over and over about two thousand times, which isn't the least bit annoying! We were ahead of them this year, so we got to move a little more quickly. The other part of a parade that folks never discuss is giving out the goodies. In Georgetown, they insist you have folks walk along the route and give out the candy---no throwing! This is very unpopular and some folks ignore it. I remember one year when my daughter was younger, she was not really into throwing the candy since she preferred to eat it, so she would eat three pieces and then throw one. The one she threw had an unfortunate consequence since she forgot to aim low. She hit some kid square in the eye, which is really not something the parade organizers covet. They came over to our float and told me sternly, "No throwing or you will have to leave!" Luckily, we did not get bounced out of the parade, but I had to have her just eat the rest of the candy...which was not really a big deal as candy and French fries are two of the major food groups to her!

Our itty, bitty, teeny weeny little dog

We got an itty, bitty little dog a couple of years ago at the Williamson Co. Regional Animal Shelter. For those of you who are new, or just living under a rock, there was a tad bit of controversy when the shelter first opened. In the midst of it, my daughters and I went out to the shelter and my youngest had a very brief fancy for our small dog. He was going to be her dog and she was going to take total care of him, which translates to she will take care of him for a few days and then he will be my responsibility for the rest of his life, or mine. He was on death row, in a cage, shaking and since he had been there 8 days, he was 5 days past his time. So, my daughter begged me to take him home. He is a cute little black and white dog, but I was reluctant, having gone through the "He will not be any trouble" routine before. But, I finally agreed to it, out of sheer pity. I called my husband who was playing golf as usual, which means he agrees to almost anything as long as I make the request quickly, if I can get him to answer the phone. Anyway, we were told that the dog was house trained-but, of course, not so much! In fact, he is the total opposite of house trained. Also, no one mentioned that his breed is known for digging out of any enclosure, making it impossible to keep him in the yard. We tried that, and we would come home to find him running down the middle of the road. The disloyalty!!! I take care of the little four legged creature, I feed him, and I even let him sleep in the bed because if I don't he yelps loudly for hours and what do I get??? Him running down the street seemingly oblivious to the fact that he is not where he is supposed to be. The cars are, compared to him, the size of the debt Obama has created in the last 3 months. He is like the current spending on government programs---way, way out of control and full of it. And, like the spending, it has been very hard for me to stop him. So, of course, my husband decides that we should try to find another home for the dog. He brings over a prospective owner and they are all completely taken aback, as I am, by my response. I started crying and telling about Pepper, a dog I had when I was five, who was killed in front of me by a pack of other dogs. It hit me from nowhere that this dog and Pepper looked alike and I was so upset, '"Don't take my dog again," I yelled at everyone. That put the pall on the whole adoption. So, we still have itty bitty. He is usually laying right beside me as I type. He may be small, disloyal, poorly trained and basically a big pain, but he is a companion, that is until he runs away again!

She Lost that Loving Feeling in Round Rock

Tom Cruise used to be my "top gun." I loved him in that movie. When he rides the motorcycle to her house under the palm trees, Kelly McGinnis, who looks like she is his older sister, falls for him in about three seconds. It is all about his angst over his father's death, which drives his mom to drink and him to risky behavior. Then, Dr. Green from ER, still with his hair, dies and Meg Ryan, who somehow married Dr. Green even though I never saw her on ER, just can't take it so she tries to sleep with Tom Cruise... but he turns her down...that's compassion, even if it is unlikely. Anyway, I loved that movie, but tonight I am watching it with my daughter and I started to think about why I no longer like Tom Cruise. It comes down to this, he dumped Nicole Kidman for a much younger model who is young enough to be his daughter, if he had a kid at 16, which is not impossible...just ask the folks at the Yearning for Zion ranch in El Dorado, Texas. As you can see from an earlier post, I am a woman of a certain age, and that dumping for a younger woman cuts deep! And Nicole had to go off and marry a coke head, then have a baby and give the baby a weird Hollywood name. Sunday Rose sounds like what old ladies serve at teatime, as in "Let me have some of that Sunday Rose tea, dear." So, Tom Cruise, you ain't no Top Gun anymore!

COBRA is Not Just a Snake in the Grass Anymore

What is COBRA? Unfortunately, it is nothing as exciting as a big, scary snake. At least that gets your heart racing. Instead it is a law handed down from the feds that allows former employees to have health insurance after they are fired, quit or just wig out completely. I was about to wig out completely today when I had to spend all day listening to attorneys say things like, "Make sure your employee handbook says "only 30 days" not "at least 30 days." And don't you just hate when the presenter says to hold the questions to the end as she has a lot to say and may not ever give anyone else a chance! After several hours, I had exhausted all my options for caffeinated beverages...I had tried coffee, diet DP, coffee, iced tea, coffee and coffee. The only plus is that all that liquid led to me really having to leave to take a break...I mean really! When I got back from the ladies room, Tiffani, the attorney, who looked young enough to be my daughter and could be called Ms. Smarty Pants except her first name ended in a "i" a "y" which always makes me not take someone all that seriously, said something to the effect of how it was important to make the disclosure form "at least six or seven pages in length to be sure it is understandable to the employees. She has seen some employers use a ONE PARAGRAPH synopsis, which is apparently a cardinal sin in itself, and that just would not do to have an explanation of this COBRA thingy that folks may actually read. Tiffani told us it is much better for it to be looooong so that everyone will need coffee to read it. At that point, I headed to Starbucks!

Texas TEA Party

Today is Tax Day and many conservatives attended TEA (Taxed Enough Already) party rallies across America. I attended two of them. Lots of folks in costumes and funny hats wearing tea bags. One guy standing near me had a all-heckle policy. He heckled every speaker, usually with the cry of "Secede!" such as in after a speaker said we should spend less, after a speaker said we should be taxed less and even after a speaker said where to find the restrooms. Many folks had funny signs. The photo of Nancy Pelosi wearing a pirate hat with the caption "There are pirates in America, too." But the one that was hilarious said, "I can STIMULATE myself, thank you very much!" And some folks say conservatives are not funny!

Hold the Milk in my Hot Dog

Well, my birthday is almost over and what a fun day it has been. Tonight, my daughters and I ate out, which really means picked up food at the drive thru. On a whim, I decided to go to a KFC/A & W All American Cafe combo drive thru. Typically, I avoid restaurants (read: drive thrus) with more than one cuisine (using the word loosely) at the same place. Something about combining a Long John Silver's with a Der Wienerschnitzel just does not usually get the taste buds going. But, tonight, in honor of my birthday, we tried out A & W/KFC. I am not really a KFC fan ever since one Halloween when I was about 5 when my family I were traveling over the "holiday "and I did not have a costume, so my mom, always thrifty, got me a Col. Sanders mask with a large bucket of drumsticks. The other kids got quite a kick, literally, out of the mask. Anyway, all was going well tonight, including the regular routine: one teen refusing to eat because the other agreed with me that it would be fun to try a place we don't go to often. So, me and the younger one, who believes French fries are a major food group, making either KFC or A & W a good choice, and I ordered, drove around, and there it was...THE LIBERAL TRIAL LAWYERS STRUCK AGAIN....at the local A & W. A small sign was posted in the window that said, "Customer Alert: This restaurant chain serves hot dogs that MAY contain milk in them." Much to my daughters' dismay, I asked the very young girls working the window about the milk issue. The girl in the cute A & W paper hat leaned out of the window, read the sign and said, "Yeah, isn't that weird?" which is not really reassuring coming from someone serving your food. Then she added, "It isn't like we pour milk on the hot dogs." Great, 'cuz that was my first guess. Doesn't everyone pour milk on their hot dog before eating it? What strange lawsuit led to a corporate lawyer writing that little gem and sending it to all the A & W's throughout the US? His mom is proud of him! He saved us all from mistakenly eating a milk hot dog.

Welcome to my new blog, Pink Elephant. I am a conservative woman living in Round Rock, Texas and want to use this blog to post entries about me, my busy life, my big family and my passion for all things political. I am excited about this blog and I hope you will be, too.

Birthday Woman (My "Girl" Days are Sadly Over)
Today is my last day before I become the dreaded age of 49. I have hated every time my age ended in a "9." For the first two ages ending in "9," I wanted to just get the year done so I could move onto the next decade. Then, once you get to 29, then 39 and now the "I can't believe I'm so old and fat" 49, I just want to be 28, 38 or 48 again because no one believes you that you are really 29, 39 or much less 49. When someone is so rude as to ask your age, and you say 49, you know they think you are lying. Luckily, by the time you are a woman at 49, usually the only folks with guts enough to ask your age are in the medical profession and generally are about to perform an unpleasant "procedure," which at that point I am afraid to lie as they may know I am lying and make it even worse, as if there is worse than a "This may be a bit uncomfortable" mammogram exam. My friends and family all know how old I am and have the good sense not to mention it. To make matters worse, I have thought for a while that I have accomplished a fair amount of things politically in my (almost) 49 years. Then, Mr. Smarty Pants Obama, age 47, had to outdo all of Baby Boomers by getting to be...well....the Leader of the Free World. Ok, that is a bit higher than me on the totem pole and the first time in my life that I am OLDER THAN THE PRESIDENT! That alone was reason enough for me not to vote for the man!
So, I know you are thinking, what about your birthday tomorrow? Big plans?
Sure, I plan to try to make sure my teenage daughters don't kill each other over the one wearing the "favorite purple bra" of the other one (with cries of "Make her take it off" as I am driving down a state highway), stay focused all day at work, try not to eat dessert but then eat it anyway, figure out what to serve up for the hubby and finicky teens for dinner then decide to just get take-out, clean up after the dog that we got from the shelter that was already house-trained-yeah, right- and more of the same. Oh, yeah...the same stuff I do daily. Maybe I'll really have a big evening and decide to watch "Intervention" on A & E while drinking a glass of wine. I love watching folks more screwed up than me!